What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to do this year? How about what should I be doing today, Saturday…

I have to clean my room. It’s long overdue. I can’t see the floor anymore, and there is dust on everything. I’m feeling very closed in in here. I have so many old things that I don’t need anymore, but I seem to want to hold onto them for the future. Why? Not sure. Maybe I’ll have children of my own some day and they’ll want to play with some of these things.

I have some old string art sets that are only half done. I have old board games that I don’t play anymore. Lots of decks of cards, some complete, I think. All my stuffed animals and some dolls. I have lots of balls of yarn and various size crochet hooks and a couple of latch-hook rug kits. Hey, maybe I should work on some of those! I remember them being fun. But, even though I know they are in my room, I haven’t actually seen them in ages. They are in my closet somewhere. In the back. The dark scary back part where things get lost. I wonder if there is dust and cobwebs in the corners back there.

What else should I be doing? Sort through my clothes. And my shoes. I don’t wear most of it anymore. A lot of it doesn’t fit anymore. I need to just throw it all out. Well, I can have mom bring it to one of those drop bins. I want to upgrade my wardrobe. I want to fit in more, and the way it works at school is that if you don’t wear the right clothes you don’t fit in. But I don’t know how to find all the right clothes. The places I shop at are not the places they shop at. Maybe D can help me figure this all out. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to afford the clothes I need, though. Not at those stores. My Aunt said that she’ll start paying me for babysitting Spencer if I want to make it a regular thing. She said she can use my help watching him every Saturday for awhile while she does some work from home. And in the summer I may be able to babysit during the week days as well. I can’t wait for school to end and summer to get here.

Homework. Yes, I should be doing homework. I have to finish reading a book of short stories in English and write a paper comparing the characters. Why should I do that? I don’t even like those short stories. Well, I haven’t read them all yet. I guess I should give it a chance. And I also have math, of course. I’m really confused about the proofs. Proofs schmoofs. What’s the point? Oh yeah, I know. The point is that I can take a test and get a grade and that’ll help decide what college I can get into. Same with History. Oh yeah, history… She said there will be a quiz on Monday and then a TEST on Friday, and the test will cover everything on the quiz, and a lot more. Yikes. I’m doomed! I can’t memorize all those dates!!

Ok, I’d better stop writing now and get to some of the things I need to get to….