Oh my gosh, baby Spencer is SO cute. And so much fun. He’s my little cousin, and he’s just the best. I got to babysit him over the weekend for an afternoon. He’s already walking and starting to say things. He loves to come up to be and put his hands on my cheeks and look right into my face with his adorable big blue eyes and say, “I wuv you!” Then he strokes my hair and says, “Pritty!” He’s gonna be a heartbreaker some day. Like HIM. Well, I think I’m finally getting over him. Well, not really. But I think I’m giving up hope that he’s ever going to talk to me or I’m ever going to talk to him.

At least not before this school year is up. He seems to be more interested in his pack of friends, who are only interested in sports and all the popular girls who flirt all the time. I just can’t be like that, and even if I could, I’m not friends with any of them. It’s just HIM who I like. And how would that go? What if he DID like me and want to go out with me. Then what? I don’t think I’d want to hang around all his friends, but they’re always together. And I know for sure that the flirty girls would all talk about me and who knows? They’d probably do mean things until he and I broke up. I just don’t fit in.

Yeah, I just don’t fit in. I think that’s my problem. And I don’t know what to do about it. I guess nothing. Just keep on doing the same things day after day. Go to school, come home, do homework, watch tv, text a bit with my best friend and spend some time online, then go to bed and get up and do it all over again. I can’t say that I’m happy now. Even my best friend seems to be spending more time with her new boyfriend than with me lately, so now I feel even more left out.

At least I have the weekends when I can go to my aunt’s house most of the time and hang with Spencer. I guess that’s going to have to be good enough for now.